


The Good in Me

by NSFWCabello



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Evie is a hetty, F/F, F/M, Jay is a good friend, Like Heavy Angst, and Mal is a hopeless lesbian in love, this isn't a happy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 23:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18020336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NSFWCabello/pseuds/NSFWCabello
Summary: Your heart's a vine that I've bled trying to climbYeah, you're making a ruin of meTry to survive, keep my spirit aliveBut like a knife in the woodsYeah, you hunt down the good in me





	The Good in Me

She’s gorgeous, and you know it, so you take the time to admire the way her pale skin glows in the dim light of the house party. Her eyes are glassy from all of the shots she’s forced down her throat, and her blue hair is tousled and messy.

The sight makes your skin crawl because it reminds you of the first time she kissed you. Lonnie had invited both of you to a party at Chad’s castle and Evie had said yes for you because she needed you there to make sure she didn’t go and make out with Doug again. Instead, she’d made out with you, she’d had her tongue in your mouth and her arms around your neck as she melted against your body.

It was probably the best three minutes of your life, and you were riding high on the hope that maybe, just maybe, she liked you back (even if she’d turned you down just a week prior by saying that she wasn’t ‘like that’). Then, those hopes were forced into a bottle and thrown to sea the moment she pulled away and winked at one of the boys who was watching. You should’ve known it was too good to be true. Evie doesn’t want you, she’s never wanted you. But you want her so badly that you were willing to play yourself, just for a few minutes, and give yourself hope.

“Mal,” her breathy voice breaks you out of your staring and you focus on your best friend.

“What is it E?”

Your princess wraps her arms around you and pulls you into a hug, and you can’t help but let your eyelids flutter closed. She’s warm and smells like tequila and some boy’s cologne. You push down the pain in your chest and just hold her, because at least she’s here with you right now.

“Are you ready?” She whispers into your ear. You know what that means. You always know what that means.

It means a show.

It means kissing until your toes curls and your lungs are burning.

It means heaven for an entire two minutes.

It means watching her pull away to go shove her tongue down some horny boy’s throat right after she’s done with you.

That doesn’t stop you though. Because you’re selfish, and Evie may only be doing this to get guys, but you’re doing this because you want her. If this is the only way you can touch her the way you dream of, then so be it.

Then, you’re kissing. Evie’s lips are on yours and you can taste the alcohol on her tongue and the way it seeps onto yours like a slow poison coursing through your veins. She’s pulling at the collar of your leather jacket and you’re pushing her hair back so that boy’s don’t have to strain their eyes to see what’s going on.

Tears well up in your eyes as you feel her reaching into your chest and squeezing, squeezing until the blood stops pumping and you can feel yourself slowly dying. She’s pulling your heart out with every nip of her teeth on your lips and you know that this is going to be over soon.

You take your opportunity and bring your hand down to her waist. You squeeze her ass roughly and listen to her gasp against your mouth until she pulls away and looks into your eyes. There’s nothing there in her dark eyes. She’s looking right through you and to the boy behind you, throwing him a flirtatious wink.

It hurts. God does it hurt. Yet you put yourself through this because those few moments of touching her and kissing her are otherworldly. You know it’s going to hurt you, she’s going to hurt you, but you let it happen anyway.

Maybe it’s because she’s so beautiful. Evie is the type of beautiful that you know will get you hurt in the end. Like a lightning bolt cracking against the sky, or a stormy ocean that’s bringing you out closer to sea. She’s dangerous and deadly, and you know you’ll end up regretting everything, but you just can’t stop playing her game.

-

Jay’s the one to ask you what’s wrong.

He’s watching you as you all sit at a table near the tourny field and you’re picking at your fries as Evie recounts the story of the boy she had sex with after the party two nights before. You don’t want to be there, listening to her talk about a boy who just wanted her body. You want to be the one worshipping her and hearing your name on her lips as your head is between her thighs.

“Mal,” Jay pokes at you and you look to him, your eyes tired and red from not sleeping because you were studying for your exams.

You blink at him a couple of times, not knowing what to say.

“You okay?”

All you do is shrug, because you’re shit at lying but you really don’t want to say what’s on your mind. You don’t want Evie to hear and be disgusted with you because you’re using her. So you stay silent.

“Mal was there!” Evie says, a smile on her face. “The guy was cute wasn’t he?”

You shrug and try not to cringe at how boring you must seem. “Guys aren’t really my type, remember E?”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate a hot face.”

Jay looks at you with pain and concern and you already know he’s figured it out. You should’ve known he would. He’s always been perceptive, Jay's been able to pick up on the most minimal of cues while Evie can’t even realize you’re sad unless you tell her flat out.

His lips brush against your ear and you feel his comforting warmth, he’s the closest thing to a big brother you’ll ever have. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head and he pulls away, giving you a nod. You’re happy that he doesn’t press the subject, you’re pretty sure you’d cry if he did.

-

You’re back at another party, and this time you and Evie aren’t dancing. She’s sitting on your lap on the couch as you both watch some people play flip cup. Jay, Lonnie, and Carlos are all dancing and you wish you could be there with them because it would be a lot less painful than listening to Evie drunkenly complain about how guys suck and how she’ll never find her prince.

Sometimes you just wish that you were brave enough to tell her that maybe it’s not a prince that she needs, it’s a dragon. But you don’t, because she already told you she’s not gay. She told you the day you admitted your feelings to her, how you were a bawling mess and you admitted that the poem she found in your drawer was about her. She wasn’t mad, not that you thought she’d be. All she did was hold you and told you she loved you, but not in that way.

Now, you’re here wishing that you never told her, because maybe then you wouldn’t be in this fucked up situation. Maybe Evie wouldn’t be using your feelings for her to her advantage. Or maybe you’d still be kissing each other every weekend, just for show, just for Evie to get what she wants.

“You know Mal,” Lauren hiccups a bit, “guys are so fucking dumb.”

You nod your head in response because it’s not like she’s wrong.

“All they want is sex. And sex is great, it’s all fine, but when am I gonna want a guy who wants more than that? I want a guy who I can fall in love with, who will fall in love with me.”

Right now, it really feels like the universe is playing some fucked up joke on you. Because here Evie is, talking about how she wants someone to love her, and here you are, ready to give her all of your love for the rest of your life, the only issue, is that you’re not a dude.

“Why can’t there be guys like you?” Evie slurs out, her voice smokey and hoarse from all of the laughing and yelling she’s done tonight. “You’re so sweet and caring, and you always put up with my shit. And you come cuddle me in my bed any time I ask. You’re so good to me M. Honestly, if you were a guy I’d probably marry you.”

That hurts. Knowing that Evie would date you, would love you if you were a man, and that’s all that’s stopping this relationship, really fucking hurts. You want to scream and cry and maybe throw a bottle at a wall and curse fate for making you a girl, but you sit silently. You push back the tears because there’s no way in hell you’re going to cry just because something isn’t going your way. You were raised on the Isle, you’re tougher than that.

So instead of doing any of that, you fake a smile and look at Evie. You push her hair away from her face and kiss her forehead. 

“I’d marry you too E.”


End file.
